It's better to have loved and lost, even if it's a Naked Lady.

At the end of my last drum lesson, I had a strong urge to take my snare to bed with me like a teddy bear. I wanted to pet it, to lightly trace the cool metal with my fingers, to hold it tightly all night long.  It would be my dreamcatcher, my security blanket, my pillow made of clouds and fiberskyn.

Now, I've played some kind of instrument off and on for the last twenty years, but I never fell this hard.  We had waxed poetic about gear, and it was started to sink in.  The timing is right, sure.  I'm more mature and I know myself more, definitely.  I have a great teacher.  The signs all point to this instrument being 'the one.' But when someone or something is 'the one,' using words is like using a computer in safe mode.  Sure you get the idea, but there's no real way to convey the vibrant imagery or evocation of strong emotion, like the emotion I felt when I received my first drum key.  I literally jumped up and down and immediately ran upstairs to put it on my keychain.  I didn't even feel too old to be this excited.  I actually wished more things in the adult existence led to jumping or squealing in true joy.  Receiving my drum key meant I was beginning to learn my craft.  One day I would need the drum key and I would actually know what to do with it.  One day, using the drum key will be so routine I won't think twice about using it.

The other night in my drum lesson, I was starting to 'jump up and down' about all of my gear.  My teacher shared the philosophy of having good gear to match your personality, playing style, and needs.  He said having the right tools would make me a better drummer and genuinely make me feel like the best version of myself.  He shared his heartbreaking tale of love lost, embodied in a Conn Naked Lady.  He never found his love again but what he did find was the Gift of Gear.  From his heartbreak, he is now able to understand a player's needs in an instant.  He is Mr. Ollivander in Harry Potter, knowing each person has an instrument (or several) tailored exactly to their needs.  He is the one who tucked my new snare drum so carefully under the Christmas tree this year.  He knew it was time for me to make this instrument mine.