A beginner's manual

I started playing the drums a couple of months ago, but my journey to pick up the sticks took much longer. Twenty years ago, I was a little tyke in elementary school and one day, my parents asked if I wanted to start playing an instrument. My older sisters were playing woodwinds, but somehow I chose the drums. I don't even remember how it happened. Did I love the Muppet Animal? Was I trying to fit my reputation of being the 'loud one'? Or was I called to this instrument?

I don't have any memories of the choice, but I do remember the actual lessons. I paradidlled my little heart out on the practice pad. I spent months on that practice pad, and I eventually got frustrated. My teacher was weird, I wasn't having fun, and I decided to quit. I'll never forget telling my parents. I felt I failed them somehow, failed the instrument, failed myself. They told me I was just about to graduate to a real drum set. I wanted to play a real drum set and thought really hard about not quitting. I didn't want to retract my statement; I had made this big stink about quitting and I felt like I needed to see it through. My parents didn't encourage me to continue and I dropped it.

My life since then has been a series of starts and stops, and I always think back to quitting the drums in the third grade. Maybe if I had stuck with it when it got hard, maybe if I were able to see through the perceived apathy of my support network, the bogus teacher, the practice pad, maybe then I would have found my vocation at age seven. Or maybe I just wouldn't be such a frog hopping from rock to rock.

I'm taking drum lessons from my boyfriend now, and I can't afford to quit another thing. I need this, I want this, and I LOVE this. My boyfriend somehow knew not to suggest giving me lessons; he instead quietly bought a drum kit he knew I would love. He set it up in the basement, right underneath the very best lighting. He made it enticing and approachable without it being overwhelming. Like in the third grade, I don't remember the moment I decided to pick up the sticks, but I did and this time I made it way past the practice pad.